Choosing Gentleness in a World That Hustles

Life Is Hard—But I’m Choosing Softness

I celebrated my birthday this week—and honestly, I’ve never felt busier in my entire life.

I’ve had demanding corporate jobs. I started commuting for school and work at 14. I worked full-time while earning my first degree. Laziness was never part of my story.

But raising a 2.5-year-old as a stay-at-home mom and homemaker? It’s a completely different kind of busy—a beautiful, overwhelming, joyful, chaotic kind of busy.

That night, I told my husband I was feeling really overwhelmed. His response?

“Life is hard.”

Now, I know he didn’t mean it harshly—he was tired too. He’s not exactly a motivational speaker when it comes to emotions, so I usually don’t expect a heart-to-heart. But this time, those three words hit differently. And not in a helpful aha-moment kind of way.

At first, I felt hurt. Couldn’t he just be a little more empathetic?

But after sitting with it for a few days, I realized it wasn’t really him that bothered me. It was the sentence itself.

Yes, life is hard. That’s no secret. Human history is full of struggle. And even today—when we talk so much about freedom, balance, and wellness—we’re still stuck in hustle culture. We still wear burnout like a badge of honor. We still believe the constant buzzing of our phones and to-do lists stretching into the night is somehow normal.

And yes, I like being productive. I love the feeling of a job well done—whether it’s a Substack post that I write in hope to inspire someone, a warm meal that feeds my family, or a clean space that brings peace. Even in my former life, I took pride in happy clients and high grades.

But here's what I value more:

Being gentle with myself.

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Why softness matters

There were seasons in my life when stress took a very real toll—chronic headaches, dizzy spells, and not long ago, a complete emotional collapse. I was waking up seven times a night with a baby, prepping for university exams, managing the home—and one day, I found myself trembling with anxiety before the sun had even risen.

That wasn’t postpartum. That was burnout.

It was then, in the thick of babyhood, that I knew something had to change. And it still is changing—slowly, quietly. I’m learning to nurture myself, to take baby steps toward peace. Some days, it feels like five steps back. But I keep trying.

If you’ve been practicing softness for years, these might seem like small things. But to me, they’re radical. They’re life-giving.

Here are a few of the very practical ways I’ve learned to stay soft, balanced, and gently inspired—especially in seasons that stretch me to my limits.

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1. Wearing soft, comfortable clothes

The other day, I put on a pair of tight denim shorts, and I’m not kidding—it was painful. I felt tense, my jaw clenched, and my whole mood shifted.

That moment reminded me: one of the simplest ways I can nurture myself is by not wearing clothes that hurt.

For years, I chose outfits based solely on how they looked. But my husband, who always chooses comfort first, has taught me something: what you wear matters. Now, if something is too tight, itchy, or uncomfortable, I just don’t buy it. That includes underwear! Cozy fabrics, soft waistbands, warm jumpers, quality shoes that don’t soak in the rain… they’re worth every penny.

The moment I changed out of those stiff shorts into my favorite soft pair, I felt relief. Like I could breathe again.

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2. Surrounding myself with beauty

This is one of the biggest reasons I love homemaking.

When my surroundings are clean, calm, and beautiful, I feel happy. A vase of fresh flowers from the garden. A tidy kitchen counter. Books arranged just so on a shelf. These are visual "snacks" for the soul.

Beauty nurtures us. Whether it’s lighting a candle on a grey day, doing my makeup with care, or simply enjoying a peaceful corner of my home—it lifts my spirits. I also love browsing Pinterest or photography subreddits. On dark, rainy days when the house is a mess, I can still feast my eyes on beauty and feel a little more whole.

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3. Eating nourishing meals and staying hydrated

This one isn’t just about softness—it’s about survival.

When life feels hectic, it’s easy to reach for sugar and caffeine. And yes, I sometimes eat junk when time is tight. But if I’m honest, I never feel good afterward.

Being kind to myself means choosing snacks that nourish me, even when I’m stressed. A handful of nuts, a slice of fruit, a warm bowl of soup. It also means staying hydrated—herbal teas, lemon water, homemade lemonade. These little acts of care remind my body (and soul) that I’m worth tending to.

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4. Feeling at home in my body

Forget trends. Forget New Year’s resolutions.

I just want to feel good in my own skin.

Sometimes that looks like a gentle stretch session. Other times it’s putting on sunscreen, using a skincare product I love, or brushing my hair with intention. I don’t always have time for long self-care rituals, but I try to do what I can.

I’ve also stopped pressuring myself to meet anyone else's beauty standard. Feeling well in my body—strong, soft, rested—is the goal. Not chasing some ideal, but choosing wholeness.

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5. Resting when I need to

This one seems obvious—but it’s taken me years to accept.

There were so many times I felt guilty for using my child’s naptime to nap myself. I’d think of everything I “should” be doing. But now, I remind myself:

A tired body and mind can’t give love, can’t be patient, can’t stay well.

Sometimes gentleness is letting yourself sleep. No explanation needed.

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When I ignore these soft practices, my soul starts to scream. It’s like I’ve become the harsh parent, demanding, rushing, criticizing. But when I treat myself with the same care and warmth I give my family, everything shifts.

Yes, life is hard. But it becomes lighter when I choose softness. Again and again.

And maybe you need that reminder too.